editoress:

“SIT LIKE A LADY”

“NO”

8hy:

I have an idealized version of myself in my mind and she’s really pissed off at my life choices

roachpatrol:

itchycoil:

Whenever you’re feeling sudden calm its because I took your voodoo doll out for a picnic on a grassy hill

thank you

neopats:

[mom voice] targé

lilttlekingtrashmouth:

Myself @ me: you need to wake up earlier so you don’t waste the day

Me @ myself: sorry I was sleeping and just saw this lol wyd

grandmafupa:

Painfully average looking with a great sense of humor and always down to get drunk

manywinged:

oh to be a slightly ridiculous looking sea monster on a geographically inaccurate medieval map

Anonymous asked: stupid bitch?

komaedalovemail:

yeah? the fuck you want?

antsu-in-my-pantsu:

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not